CHRIS PARKES
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There My Love Goes

There my love goes out that door again now
On she walks poised will this be the end
You didn't say that you did love me even if it hurt
Or say that you did need me when it meant the most

I didn't cry, you made me lie, you made me hide my pain inside
But I died you wet the flames I took the blame and went insane
Remember when we shared a love so deep and alive
Don't you wish we could go back for another day
I can see all the wasted kisses that I gave to you
And the shallow hugs I thought were true 
And the loveless sex we'd never do   

There my love goes; I'm tired of feeling lonely
The truth I don't know, if she'll even miss me

Wait a minute there's one last thing I want to say to you
Just take this pain
Why this change am I not the man you wanted
I'm the same, is there something more he offers
Heartless wench my love you never knew
And I say
Vengeance will help you learn
Truth is it's time you burn through   

I didn't cry, you made me lie, you made me hide my pain inside
But I died you wet the flames I took the blame and went insane
Remember when we shared a love so deep and alive
Don't you wish we could go back for another day
I can see all the wasted kisses that I gave to you
And the shallow hugs I thought were true 
And the loveless sex we'd never do   

Wait a minute there's one last thing I want to say to you
Just take this pain away from me


It’s Just Hard

You’re the friend that I have never had
Mixed emotions that I never knew
They were you
All the bad dreams that you kept away
All the pain that people said you brought
You were not

Help me find love again, please
Love again, please

Times when I thought that our end was near
But I held on ‘til I lost your heart; we’re apart

Now I wonder what we ever had
What I felt might not have been so real
Was it real

Help me find love again, please
Love again, please

Frankly I have been a bit misled
Misunderstood, and misconstrued my head
All that I’ve learned is that it’s hard
It’s so hard
Very hard

Oh, please don’t go
Oh, please don’t go
Oh, please don’t go my girl 
You’re the one who once made my shadow
Oh, please don’t go
You’re the light to remove my worries

Why can’t good days last
Oh, reminiscing in my past
And how it’s gone and

Now I sit and try to hear my heart
It’s just hard I’m getting through each day
Find a way
Where from here I haven’t found the clue
This day lives, but might not hold me fast
Will it last  

Help me find love again, please
Love again, please  

Frankly I have been a bit misled
Misunderstood, and misconstrued my head
All that I’ve learned is that it’s hard
It’s so hard
Very hard


You're To Blame

Cloudy skies start my morning rise
And sunlight never hits my eyes
Dark as night the days are
Cold and wet my pillow
Restless winds are blowing
Trying hard to stay alive
My life is such a waste of time and 
You’re to blame
You’re to blame

Sleepless nights start my every day
And dark rings never leave my eyes
All alone my days speak
To the world I’m lonely
Tired of fighting for the
Lied of dream that never comes
I know I’ve tried my best, because 
You’re to blame.  

All the tears I’ve cried
Now I ask, for what
It seems that I can see again
All your thoughtless vows
It’s a daze I could not leave
But now I’m here
I’m scared I could fall back inside
Lost beneath my skin and ruminate in pain

Times I thought that we were through
But what I could not see
Was the truth
And I’ve grown so weak, so chapped my mind
Surrender all my hopes to my resent
Weak inside
Weak alive
And I drop my head, no self-respect
Abuse myself ’til all that’s left is gone
What you gain is all the blame
Maybe now somehow, I’m free
Maybe somehow, I’m free

It’s not temporary
I have changed
No more cloudy skies
Awake, but sane
No more drugs to help forget your name
‘Cus you’re to blame for my pain
Live in shame

You're to blame
I place the blame 


She’s In Your Head

Cut your life along your vein
Until you find you’re a bit insane
Look beside yourself
It’s then you find you’re all alone in bed
She’s in your head

No one can take that away from you
You will find she has ruined you
Fight her strong
For you know that she’s gone
It’s time you change your mood
Now believe and tell yourself it’s all right
Time will heal such wounds

Help, help, help
You write your book of sadness, and no one buys a page
Pop some pills sedate your mind
Look what she’s done to you
What can I say to you to make understand
That it’s within your hands
She’s in your head

You sit and watch all that they do
And think to kill them brings a better view
It’s then you change your mind
You think there comes a time when you suppress your rage

You have become
The nightmare of your own devise
You’ve become your own fear
And you must reclaim
The spirit that you left behind with her
So sad
Can’t remember when you felt a
Warm hand
Someone there to lift your chin up
Now she’s gone
Thoughts of failure
Nothing’s lost its best she left you
Nights of anguish
Never was a match from heaven
Take some time to think this good and through
It’s then you find that it’s all-true

You think life has gone to waste 
‘Cus sitting in your pity world
You try to understand how this all came undone 
How this all came undone
You built yourself a shrine of pain
Photographs of days that you’ll never have again
That you’ll never have again
Thoughtlessly you fall
You give your soul and all to that whore

Here we are again
Down and out of friends; you begin to cry
She’s in your head

No one can take that away from you
You will find she has ruined you
Fight her strong
For you know that she’s gone
It’s time you just move on


You Think You’ve Been So Kind

I think it’s time you know
How you’ve hurt me through the years 
You ask me what you’ve done
I ask if you really care
You think I’ve held a grudge
Well it’s not quite like that
I kept my silence long enough
You confused my child mind

The truth was left untold
Until I could not turn away
It raped me from within
How it hurt the one I love
All the times I’ve asked for guidance, and you didn’t lend a hand
Trapped I felt around myself, but you didn’t give a damn

What was I to do when you didn’t help me
I thought a friend was supposed to care
Must have hurt your foolish pride

You think you’ve been so kind
Always done what’s right
Never hurt no one
Your son is hurt like no one else has ever done
I had nowhere to go
No place I’d feel safe
Did you see my pain is deep
It consumed my every day and held me down

All those years with no words
It’s like we had a conversation with our scarce communication
What’s the use of trying when you didn’t care
You don’t care
All those days I’d wake up
And I’d hope this day’s my last breath with you
Maybe my one death would show you
Why the fuck you’d put me through this anyway

You act as if I’m dead
And you push my corpse aside
When you see me you’re ashamed
Can’t carry on your name
You think I’ve held a grudge
Well it’s not quite like that
I kept my silence long enough
You confused my child mind

You think you’ve been so kind
Always done what’s right
Never hurt no one
Your son
Is hurt like no one else has ever done
I had nowhere to go
No place I’d feel safe
Did you see my pain
Is deep
It consumed my every day and held me down


Dear John

Dear John, I want you to know I’m sincere
Nothing else would make me happier
Than to know you’re doing well

You’re in deep, so young you were taken by greed
All of its lies and it’s emptiness
I want just to show you need help

Lost in life you try so hard to see
Shallow in image you show us all how to hide
From the demons within your mind
I’ve been there before
In the delusion, intrusion, ruminous power of darkness
Dysfunction is in our blood

Dear John, I’m here now to help you regain
What you have gave to this bloody game
John, the time’s come for a change

There once was a time when you played your own game
No rules, but your own you’d break
Your heart was robust and with it such trust
You gave to your friends your love
So, what happened to all that love
Your dove’s wings they ripped and you lost your grip
I know you can hear my voice
So, please come back to me
You’ll see how blind you are

It’s then you’ll find how long you’ve hurt us all
Fighting emotion your hungry ambition is all now
That you have left to show.  

Now it’s time to change
From the ego directed and greed that’s connected to you
You’ll thank me in the
End this useless addiction you’ve lived
Too many times it’s hurt you John
I won’t give up ‘til you are well
Oh, John


I Doubt

My days are counted, thoughts of suicide
Where to go, all I want is to hide
All the years I’ve been holding on
What’s the loss no one would see I’m gone

Oh, you know it’s true
There’s nothing you can do

And all you say is there’s nothing wrong with me
I see through all your lies
If you knew, why’d you close your eyes
Oh, you know I’m right
Someone turned on my light

Up and down I'm barely sane
And I don’t even know my name

I can’t explain the reason for such pain
Why me
But the way I really feel inside is
Something that I won’t let out
If you’ve felt this way you’d empathize I‘m sure
But I doubt you’ve ever cared


I Need You (Tell Me What To Do)

I give my love
All my times for you
All I ask is for the chance 
That you'll love me

I need you so bad
Tell me what to do
Tell me what to do

Don't you know you drive me mad
Don't you know you make me high
Do you feel this way I do
Please, just let me hear the truth

I need you so bad
Tell me what to
Tell me what to do

Still I wait
I save my heart for you
I'd give my life
Do what it takes for you to love me

I need you so bad
Tell me what to do
Tell me what to do


Just How Sick I Am

How easy it would be
To end my own life
To stop this damn disease

How nice it could become
With such a simple tug
A gunshot through my head

But for some reason I
Don't want to go
It just goes to show
Just how sick I

But sometimes I can't escape
There's not enough strength
The strength I need to live

But for some reason I
Don't want to go
It just goes to show
Just how sick I
Just how sick I
Just how sick

I can't seem to shake my deadly cravings to
Waste my time in life
I can't seem to stop
Too much thought and no time to sit and not
How'd I get this way and how can I change

All I want this time
Is to make it work
I'll give my all and
Hope I won’t fall l again like yesterday
Yesterday I fell
Yesterday I fell
I can't play games
When every year I get behind
It's such a bind
When I get lost within my mind

And sometimes I close my eyes
To desensorize
And forget all that's gone astray

But for some reason I
Don't want to go
It just goes to show
Just how sick I am

Just how sick I am


I Think I'm In Love

I think I’m in love
How else can I explain these feelings
The burning, the longing to see you
The pain and the loss when you're gone

Please don't turn your head
And leave me on my own
Oh, how I want you
A kiss to embrace you
The need grows more the longer I can't be with you

I think I'm in love
What else would cause such hopeful feelings
And tears that don't seem to have reason
And days that don't seem to have flaws
Please don't turn your head
And leave me on my own
Oh, how I want you
A kiss to embrace you
The need grows more the longer I can't be with you

You fill my dreams
You make me smile
How else can I tell you how I
What can I do to make you see
I don't want to risk our friendship in the least

Of all the other times I've been down this road before
You'd think I'd understand that I can't keep asking for
What I cannot have
It's not quite that easy to me
It's not quite that easy to me

You help me up when things get rough
You understand all of the 
Pain I cannot seem to shake away
You light that dark filled room inside

Oh, oh
I think I'm in love
I think I'm in love


Not Gone From My Heart

I feel so low down
So put down
And still
Care of what you have to say
Though feeling so gray

Look at your picture
And cry again
Stop this
Pain of what I thought I had
But found I was wrong

You think that you’re gone out of my heart
I can say you’re not, still got a spot
I love you my friend

I’m planning on going, going on
I’m planning on going, going on
At least for the day
I’ll walk the other way
Try to get back on living my life my way

Tell me what we had
And what you said
Is that "Our love is real and won’t die" 
It’s all making me cry

You think that you’re gone out of my heart
I can say you’re not, still got a spot
I love you my friend

I can’t love you, I want to
Please take my heart
That’s all I have
Please take my heart
That’s all I have
I want you now


Something Good To Hold On To

And though I’ve been in love before
I never knew I’d love you more
They say I need a heart to love
But I can love and do all right

I only need you love
Something good to hold on to
I only need you love
Something good to hold on to

Trust is hard to come by now
I always give it out too soon
You know I love you baby
Everything you do for me

I only need you love
Something good to hold on to
I only need you love
Something good to hold on to

Every time I look into your eyes
I see my future looking back at me
And it’s nice 
‘Cus you’re there
Every time I look into your eyes
I see my future looking back at me
And you’re there

At night I’d dream the day would come
When all my hopes
Would unveil the sun

I only need you love
Something good to hold on to
I only need you love
Something good to hold on to
I only need you love
Something good to hold on to
I only need you love
Something good to hold on to


Make it Easy On Us

Weak in the knees you fall
Breakdown from all the tension
Of measuring up to fill someone’s pride
Hoping to hide
To keep them appeased and away
And what do you gain
This distress, this strain it brings you such pain
Oh, such a game
Just playing their game of pain

My mind’s full of voices
Of un-thought out choices
Your winds busted through
And I fell down
Make it easy on me
Make it easy on me

Which of your words speaks of the truth
And why do I feel it’s for your pride

It’s time that you look
And see that I’m alive
It’s time that you think
Not knowing what I want
And if you can’t
It’s probably that you’re just confused yourselves

Tight in the chest you breathe
Forsaken of all your senses
Trying to feel
Through your own hands
And understand
What it is that you need
But they just intrude
And tell you out crude
Of how you should be
But you can’t see
Or feel free their way

Laughter of torture
And torture for laughter
Her pain is so deep
I cry her tears
Make it easy on her
Make it easy on her

All the abuse that she has faced
Gives her a strength that you can’t break

It’s time that you give
Some half of what you take
It’s time that you creed
She’s young she’ll make mistakes
And if you can’t
She’ll turn her back and make up for how you’ve lacked

I bet it’s hard to take after all these years
Of love, adoration, and countless tears
And you learn that your not as good as you thought you’d be
It hurts like hell
Oh, I know
I bet it’s hard to feel the love; the pain
Is deep within a picture frame
And you plea and you beg, but your son is away again
It burns your tongue
It’s been too long
Just some acknowledgement just may have
Made it all okay
Who’s to say what we did was wrong
I'd do it all again

It’s time that you look
And see that we’re alive
It’s time that you think
Not knowing what we want
And if you can’t 
It’s probably that your just confused yourselves


There’s More to Life

The day I met you
I felt I knew you all my life
There was something that surrounded you
It was a newfound hope I thought I left behind

Of all our days
Well, there is none I regret we’ve had
With the hardships that were thrown at us
We’ve learned there’s more to love when what is said is done

You showed me that there’s more to life
Than living day to day
You brought God back in my life
And you helped me regain my faith
Just understand I love you
Understand I’ll never hurt you or our love

I woke to my surprise
A sense of warmth that filled my soul
I sat strumming on my guitar
While my mouth sang words my heart had held within, and I cried

You showed me that there’s more to life
Than living day to day
You brought God back in my life
And you helped me regain my faith
Just understand I love you
Understand I’ll never hurt you or our love

There’s something that I have to do
To let you know the changes in my life
Are from those words you said to me
There’s more to life than lonely days ahead
Forever and always we’ll be

What is meant when those words are said
When a man’s not shy and says he loves his girl

You showed me that there’s more to life
Than living day to day
You brought God back in my life
And you helped me regain my faith
Just understand I love you
Understand I’ll never hurt you or our love


Can You Lend a Hand?

Lost my love
Hope is gone
I can't think without her here
What can I do
What can I do

How to grow
I don't know
Will I find someone else
What can I do
What can I do

Can't you see I need help
Can you lend a hand

Take a step
Forge a leap
I sure hope I won't slip
What can I do
What can I do

Can't you see I need help
Can you lend a hand

What's the use
Where's my love
I don't know what went wrong
What can I do
What can I do

Can't you see I need help
Can you lend a hand

 
 All song written by Christopher Parkes (Published and Copyright 2005, All Rights Reserved)
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